Are you sending the right message?

Psst! Follow me on Bluesky. 🦋

The graphic below popped into my inbox courtesy of illustrator, Wendy MacNaughton, and reminded me a lot about publicity practices and little about birthdays. Ok, some about birthdays, but this is about the strength of publicity and public relations relationships.

What’s the difference between a birthday text and showing up, if even virtually? Everything. You see, this graphic isn’t just about birthdays, anniversaries or other calendar events. It’s a roadmap for how your actions impact relationships. When you manage your reputation or someone’s business, the way you show up reflects the depth of connection you want.

Effort = value

A social media message is fine for someone you barely know, but deep relationships demand intentional communication. (Performative messages are like spray-and-pray media relations to me — pukey.) Even with shifts in business communications the past decade, the heart of public relations lies in consistent, personal outreach.

So, how personal should you get?

Not creepy personal (as if I have to remind you). The graphic lays out a great ranking for efforts. If you only want casual engagement, a quick post or email works. But for high-value contacts, including your target audience or media, personal notes, events or exclusive offers can move the needle in your favor. 

Get physical

I’m a huge fan of handwritten snail mail ✉️📫because they show real effort. Someone had to grab paper and pen, address an envelope, find a stamp (remember them?) and physically drop the note into a mailbox. If you’re the owner of a business or author who includes handwritten notes in packages, that extra step earns you a better shot at being a go-to the next time someone needs your product or service or wants your book. Word gets around when people take extra steps to personalize deliveries.

When I encourage publicity partners to make their messages matter, it often takes a minute to figure out what that is. People too quickly veer toward dry, templated communications. And don’t get me started on auto-requests to rate your recent experience. Ugh.

How do you show you really care?

What are you doing to grow relationships that matter to you? How do you boost your message’s value to people you want in your business – or personal – life for the long haul?

If you need help answering that, let’s talk about how to up your game.

© 2025 Gail Sideman, gpublicity 

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